Creepy Pickup Lines

Valentine’s Day Special 2/8

Since the most search engine popular post I ever did was Creepy ways to say I love you, I thought to add more love to this most joyous time of of the year. All thanks to the incredibly sharp, funny, crazy-fast, and R rated Louis Virtel. You’d definitely want to check him out but NOT with your parents. Better yet, don’t even think about them.

Here are some creepy pickup lines.


1. Guess where I’m not ticklish.

2. You don’t know about Megan’s Law, do you?

3. If you say anything back to me you submit to role playing!

4. Is that nothing in your pocket or are you just poor.

5. You’re so sweet you give me diabetes.

6. Heaven must be missing an angel… so I’m going to kill you.

7. What are you willing to strap on yourself?

8. You’d be hotter full of wounds.

9. If you look deep into my eyes you can tell my entire family is dead.

10. I’m rusty but ultimately as loving as the razor blade I shoved in your dessert.

11. I could just drink you up, before I throw you through my coffee table.

12. My old face would have smiled at you.

13. I have a web series.



4 responses to “Creepy Pickup Lines

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